


Fragile

by thedrunkenwerewolf, Timewaster123456789



Series: Heirverse: Phase 4 (Heir/Decimated) [12]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Collaboration, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, story cross references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:02:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedrunkenwerewolf/pseuds/thedrunkenwerewolf, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timewaster123456789/pseuds/Timewaster123456789
Summary: set after events in Decimated. Gin mourns his poor choices and the loss of Aizen's memories of their life. And surprisingly finds comfort in Ulquiorra of all people. Collab with Timewaster123456789.
Relationships: Aizen Sousuke/Ichimaru Gin
Series: Heirverse: Phase 4 (Heir/Decimated) [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1304060
Kudos: 5





	Fragile

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: Set after events in Decimated, 9/10, 1/10 and Last of Me.
> 
> A/n: We own nothing. This is by the bastard who wrote Decimated (me) and her partner in crime Time, (who is a gem I does not deserve). I just had a brain fail because we wrote this back in 2019... oops. We appreciate reviews and feedback. Alternatively we also accept 'how dare you's' and reader tears, send those by post to the narrative offices of Wolfie and Time :)
> 
> Notes/warnings: mentions of sexual abuse and suicide. Mild spoilers for Heir. If proceeding please proceed with caution and an open mind.

_Lost and forgotten_  
_All a distant memory_  
_Lost and forgotten_  
_Shattered pieces left of me_

_\- Cepheid [Fragile]_

**Fragile**

Gin closed his eyes, holding Cherry to his chest in a far away corner of the library of Las Noches. He knew he should leave, go hide. But even if he wanted to, he couldn't move from where he was sitting. And worst of all was he could practically _hear_ Aizen goading him into pulling himself together. He sighed. Aizen always had a way to make him pick himself up and keep fighting. Back when he was still his Sun and not...not this stranger...

He swallowed a sob. Not wanting to start keening just in case some somebody walked in... but he knew at this hour the palace was dead. If he was going to cry, now was the time to do it. So he buried his face into Cherry fur and let it out. She whined and nuzzled him tenderly. Hating to see him upset. Just like Sousuke used to...  
Pain tore through his chest at the memory and he wailed softly into her white fur that was better than any tissue. And the best sound muffler.

Gods when did it all go so wrong? Why did things have to turn out like this?  
Why did Sousuke have to forget him and their whole life together?

He didn't know. All he knew was that it hurt beyond imagining. He tried to tell himself that it would be okay, he'd pick himself up, move on, keep fighting. Hell even Sousuke lost it sometimes...well the one time...

But it would be okay. Even if it just seemed impossible right now. He tried to tell himself that as he wept into her fur.

Gods, it hurt so much... _so much..._ who the hell was he kidding? He didn't know how it was ever going to be okay again. If he would ever get his Sousuke back...

He sniffed, realised he'd left a trail of snot on Cherry's beautiful white fur. "So-sorry Che-Che," he hiccuped, he'd have to give her a bath later he thought, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. Snot sure did taste awful. And then his chest ached afresh and more tears came.

Cherry yipped in commiseration and licked his face, trying to make him feel better, but Gin - or at least his heart - wasn't having any of it. Why did he have to get Orihime involved anyway? Why had he agreed to _any_ of this?

_It was your idea,_ Shinsou reminded him gently.

_You think I don't know that?_ Gin answered his zanpaktou. He meant to sound irritated but he was just too dejected. Not that it mattered. Clearly it didn't matter to Sousuke...

Ulquiorra walked around the corner, quietly discussing plans with Orihime. He froze for a second when he saw Gin in front of him. How much had he heard? Orihime let out a little squeak and he winced as the shinigami's head turned towards them.

Gin froze. _Of course she'd walk in,_ he thought bitterly. He thought he'd picked the best hiding spot. That nobody would come down here... guess he was wrong. He sniffed and wiped his nose. Hoping to regain some of his already lost dignity. After all, Shinigami traitors didn't cry in front of their hostages.

"Whadda _you_ want?" Gin asked harshly. As harsh as he could muster anyway.

"Uh... we were just going for a walk. Orihime was getting cramped in her cell. Are you alright?" Ulquiorra asked awkwardly.

_Do I fucking_ _ **look**_ _alright?_ he wanted to scream. But Aizen-sama had taught him better than to lose control like that in front of an enemy. "Yeh fine." He said. Sitting up straighter. Glad for the book he'd set on his lap so he had a a cover story of 'I was reading'.  
"Why wouldn' I be?" he asked. Another line, another voice ghosting through his memory.

_Who else would I be?_

Gin resisted the urge to shake his head to free it of the thought.

Ulquiorra cocked his head confused but willing to roll with it since Gin'd seemed too distracted to have overheard them, "Well... I was under the impression that humans only cry when in pain."

"And joy and relief and..." Orihime added Ulquioraa turned to look at her with a blank stare.

"That makes no sense."

Orihime shrugged.

"Humans are complicated." She said. Ulquiorra just sighed.

"Well can ya go walk somewhere else?" Gin asked. Trying to keep the edge in his voice.

Ulquiorra nodded feeling inadequate, and guided Orihime away.

"Let us know if we can help," she called back away he moved her away

Gin scowled after her. "How can ya 'help' When yer the fucking problem?" He muttered under his breath.

Ulquiorra tugged Orihime along and looked back to see Gin settle back against the bookcase his face buried in his hands shaking with silent sobs.

Cherry whined again and nosed him and he sobbed harder. Did she really have to rub it in his face that Aizen preferred her company?

. . .

Ulquiorra talked with Orihime as he turned left down a corridor, cutting back to her cell quicker than he'd planned. He listened with half a mind to what she was saying and the other half worrying about his _... he supposed he might say friend? It was hard to label what they were. Either way he was concerned._

So after dropping her off he quickly made his way back to the library and quietly approached Gin.

Gin sensed his approach before he even came in. "So yer back," He said quietly. "Come to gloat and say I told you so? Everyone else would."

Ulquiorra studied him a moment and then shook his head. "No. I wouldn't do that."  
Gin sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. Ulquiorra saw he was still holding the fox from before.  
"Why?" Gin asked.  
"Because you're in pain." He answered. "And you aren't the only person here to be in pain because of him."

Gin cocked his head and glared, "I don' see an'one else with their heart torn out beating on the floor," he snarled, still sniffling. Of course he knew Sousuke caused pain wherever he went anyway, but to his knowledge he hadn't done anything here outside of taking control. He had no real interest in the arrancar.

Ulquiorra opened his mouth to speak, but what Grimmjow had confided to him wasn't his to repeat, so instead he sat down next to Gin with a hand on his shoulder.

Gin wanted to shrug off the contact, but found he hadn't the energy. Though the small flicker of warmth that sparked inside him at the touch did give a little brightness to the dark place inside him, and he had to admit it even if just to himself the feeling was nice. Of course, it wasn't anything like Ran's big squishy hugs, but still... it was something.  
"Why're you being so nice to me?" Gin asked quietly. The words falling out of him without thought. Still Ulquiorra didn't move.

"Because you deserve better than him. No one deserves that." Ulquiorra said quietly, remembering the shinigami's reaction to his stealing Orihime, remembered his crime against Orihime. "He's a monster. We can be united against that."

Gin sniffed. "Maybe so but... I loved him." Gin said softly. "And we've been through so much together. How'm I supposed to let all that go?"  
He felt Ulquiorra settle against him, felt his hand move to rest around his shoulders.  
"Nobody's asking you to do that right now," he offered.  
Gin sniffed again ignoring him. "The voice." He said. "The voice must have took him. Why else would he do this?"  
"Voice?" Ulquiorra echoed, confused.

Gin winced he'd said too much... far too much. Then again, Ulquoirra was the only one here who'd actually treated him decent, "The voice...it's a hollow."

"A hollow?" Ulquioraa asked. "How is that possible?"  
"A pact." Gin said after a moment.  
"Pact?"  
"Yeah..." Gin said. "Sorta like a blood oath but ya know, with more consequences..."  
Ulquiorra just looked confused as he tried to work it out. But Gin could see he was trying. Maybe he wasn't explaining it well enough.

"So he... literally isn't human... that actually makes a lot of sense." Ulquiorra cocked his head. "Why are you with him knowing that?"

"For the longest time I didn't know." Gin said. His voice every quiet. "By the time I found out it were too late. I was in too deep and too much in love with him." Gin sighed softly. Albeit a little shakily. "We'd built a life together. And rebuilt it when it got broken."

Ulquiorra shook his head, anger at his own mistreatment actually flickered in his chest for once. "You're too soft. To feel this pain," he wiped tear from Gin's cheek and inspected it. "For someone who could never feel the same." It struck him that that was exactly what he was asking of Orihime.

Gin shook his head. "He did though, once. Before..." he swallowed. The arrancar was so angry. He could sense it rolling off him in waves.  
"What did he do to you?"

Ulquiorra froze looking at Gin, but maybe knowing would help Gin to move on, "He hurt Orihime, she actually thinks he loves her like some fairy tale."

He saw Gin grow angrier the tears falling faster at that. There was pain there, too. But the espada sighed and continued. " and he...takes me...against my will," a single tear fell from his eye and he blinked surprise, "Monster."

Gin slowly turned and looked at him. "Ah ad no idea... I'm... I'm sorry." Gin said. Not really knowing what else to say. He wasn't quite sure why but a desire to protect the man rose up inside him.  
"If he tries again I'll protect you."  
Ulquiorra shook his head. "You can't protect me."  
"I can try." Gin said quietly. Knowing that when the Voice took his lover over the last time, he'd been lucky. Sousuke had been able to wrest control back from the Monster.

Ulquiorra wasn't so fortunate.

"He sleeps right?" Ulquiorra asked, a scheming look crossing his face. "I mean, hollows sleep... perhaps together we could..." Ulquiorra trailed off. Gin just stared back at him, horrified.

"What?!" Gin blurted out. Startling the sleeping Cherry on his lap she jumped and the looked at grouchily. "I can't kill him!"

"Neither can I, but together... maybe it's got to be better than living like this," he gestured at Gin and Cherry. Gin was just shaking his head.

"I..." Gin choked out. "I... god. I'm not abusing his trust like..."

"Trust?" Ulquiorra echoed, incredulous. "He doesn't even remember you. You don't exist to him." Ulquiorra snapped viciously. "How long are you going to keep taking his abuse? If he's as interested in you as you say how long do you think it will be before he does you like he did me?"

"He'd never do that." Gin said quietly. Feeling small as he remembered how Not-Sousuke had tried and held him down. "The voice might but he wouldn't."  
_And I exist in that mind somewhere... I just have to make him see it._

Ulquiorra snorted. He could see doubt all over Gin's face, but at the same time he had meant to comfort Gin, not bring up his own problems and right now the former shinigami looked ready to hang himself. So he just stopped talking and embraced the broken thing beside him.

"Then maybe it's me who'll protect you," he said softly.

Gin was surprised by the sudden embrace and the warmth that came with it but he wanted no needed it right now. So he just sighed and sank into hose arms as a few last tears fell, hoping hints would be better tomorrow. Because it had to be better than this awful bit of time called today.

_"Yeah," Gin said quietly. Afraid if he spoke too loud the fragile silence would shatter just like one of Aizen's illusions. "Maybe it will be."_


End file.
